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If you are currently suffering from intrusive thoughts this story may trigger additional upsetting thoughts and it may be better to skip it. We often talk about the intrusive thoughts of postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD here on Postpartum Progress, things like envisioning dropping your baby down the stairs, or much worse.
It was a great question, because it happens. So I invited Beth to share her story with us. Before she was born, I had dutifully checked off each item that I would need for my new baby. I was having a hard time, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. However, other things outside of my daughter started affecting my anxiety levels.
One month later my grandmother died. Emotionally I was already teetering, and then I had my first intrusive thought three months after my daughter was born. My world fell apart. I was changing her diaper and a horrible thought of molesting my daughter flashed through my mind.
I spent the next few days trying to understand why I would think such a thing. A normal mother would never think something like that.
I thought that something was terribly wrong with me because only a terrible person who belonged behind bars would ever think of something that horrible. The more I worried about the thought, the more unsettled and anxious I got.
The thoughts got worse and came at me more frequently. I remember praying frantically, thinking that some sort of evil spirit had taken me over.
I withered in silence for a month or so before telling my husband. All the while, the thoughts got worse and more frequent. In the meanwhile, I quit my job to stay at home with J. What would they think if they knew the kind of thoughts I had?
They would think I was a horrible person. Calling to make an appointment with a therapist was difficult. I was afraid that if I told her what I had thought that someone would take my baby away.
Somehow I made the appointment and very slowly my story unfolded.Beth, I commend you for writing about the sexual tohughts part of PP/OCD.
I was never sexually abused as a child but I still had them fast and furious after my now 2 year old was 6 months old. News Briefs from the International Neuromodulation Society Emerging Therapies & Diagnostic Tools News Feed. Emerging Therapies & Diagnostic Tools News Create your free blog with Blogger.
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They called me Ms. Appropriate. When I was a cardiology fellow, health care costs were skyrocketing, and I considered devoting my career to curbing inappropriate use of medical resources. Free superheroes papers, essays, and research papers.
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